


A World Big Enough for the Two of Us

by NoContractTermination



Series: Garbage collection bot [100 kinks] [3]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Anniversary, Canon Compliant, Clothed Sex, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Happy Sex, Kissing, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Romantic Fluff, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-07-03 22:16:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15828015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoContractTermination/pseuds/NoContractTermination
Summary: Johnny and Taeil go on an anniversary holiday to Hokkaido, where they book an old-fashioned lodge and Taeil complains a lot about the cold.





	A World Big Enough for the Two of Us

"It is ridiculously cold," Taeil complained into the sleeve of his coat, trying frantically to wipe away the snot dripping from his nose before Johnny could see it. The last thing he needed was Johnny getting all worried about him. The only function that usually served was to cause Taeil's anxiety to spike to never-before-seen levels. "Like, cold as shit," he continued miserably. 

They were hiking in some region of Hokkaido for a honeymoon trip. They weren't married, but they might as well have been for how long they had managed to keep their relationship secret from prying fans. "In my opinion, that's a feat more impressive than marriage," Taeyong had said during the celebration party, clapping Johnny on the back.

"It's not like you've ever been married," Jungwoo, who had also never been married, pointed out cryptically. 

Yuta was the one who recommended the location of Taeil's impending demise. Taeil didn't think he was the type to go dramatically by freezing himself into a block of ice, but at least he'd make papers. And Yuta would probably feel bad for like a day or two.

"Why did the big doofus have to confess in the winter?" Doyoung had said, exasperated, when they were planning for the trip. "There's nothing to do in the winter!"

"Well, he must've not had anything better to do, then," Ten replied. The three of them were huddled on the floor around the coffee table with Yuta lounging on the couch behind Ten and Taeil's heads. 

"Hey, _I_ , for one, don't mind winter," Yuta piped up. "And Johnny's from Chicago, which is super wintery. So Taeil- _hyung_ must be as special to him as his home."

" _Thank you_ , Yuta," said Taeil, glaring at Ten, and Yuta nudged his head lightly. Who knew Yuta could be so romantic? And Ten, so scathingly... honest?

"Plus, I know the perfect winter travel destination for you guys," Yuta said.

"You should charge them for your services," said Ten, and Yuta sat up, putting his hand to his heart in mock offense.

"For your information," Yuta cried out, "I am doing this out of the goodness of my heart, because I want to see my friends happy."

"He's doing it so he can ask for a solid later," Doyoung said, and Yuta flipped him the bird.

So that was how they ended up in this mountainous hellscape.

To Yuta's credit, it was incredibly scenic, and Yuta _was_ a mountain man. It seemed like a place that Yuta would enjoy very much; it was Taeil's fault in judgment for assuming that Yuta had any modicum of functional empathy when planning things like these. If Yuta enjoyed something very much, then to him, everyone else also should enjoy it very much.

From time to time, Taeil would look up and peek at Johnny from through the bars of his frozen eyelashes. Johnny seemed to be enjoying himself, too. That was something you started getting a feel for when you've spent enough time with someone. Johnny radiated a calm, determined energy that flooded the mountain range with warmth. Not real warmth, though, otherwise Taeil wouldn't be freezing his ass off in sunlight as stark as paper, rendering him effectively blind. If the frozen eyelashes didn't blind him first.

Johnny was wearing radiation goggles that he insisted would protect his eyesight, but Taeil had refused, fearing a possible goggle tan. The fear ended up being unfounded because he bound the rest of his face with his scarf after three seconds in the blistering wind, but it was too late to change his mind. More because it would be embarrassing than anything else, although Johnny didn't tease him about his lack of foresight nearly as much as the others did.

But Taeil was feeling obstinate today. Maybe it was because Johnny had insisted on jam-packing their itinerary to make the most of the time they had off; they had just landed in Hokkaido this morning after having to wake up at ass o'clock to catch a flight, and now they were hiking after a quick lunch where Taeil barely ate because he was still feeling nauseated from the turbulence. Maybe it was because the one day the weather forecasted sun on their trip also forecasted 50km per hour wind speeds that brought the mountain temperature down to a balmy -22 degrees Celsius. They probably shouldn't have even been outside! Maybe it was because even the sun, which was the only source of all that was good and holy in this world, was determined to cause unnecessary grief right now, reflecting off the snow right into Taeil's eyeballs and searing his retina clean off.

Whatever it was, it made Taeil want to kind of punch something. So he punched the nearest tree, which was a little off the beaten path. The tree didn't budge. Not a single clump of snow, piled precariously on the thin branches, fell. And also it hurt his hand like hell. He definitely cracked a few knuckles accidentally.

Johnny turned around, hearing Taeil jerk his hand back and hiss at the pain. "Can you maybe chill?" Johnny called.

"I _am_ chill," Taeil replied into his scarf. "Chill- _y_. Get it? Like, cold. I'm cold, Johnny."

Johnny might've rolled his eyes at that, but Taeil couldn't tell behind the ski goggles.

They walked a few more minutes along the cliffside, where the bare forest, dense and quiet, flanked them on one side and on the other sat a view of hills where clouds broke expanses of sunlight, making blotchy patches of shade in the vista. The snow crunched cleanly under them like shrimp chips. Taeil couldn't wait until they got back to the lodge. 

"Come to think of it, this is the first time we've been on a trip alone together, right?" Johnny said as Taeil rushed to catch up to his long strides.

"I took you to meet my parents that one time," Taeil said. His knees felt frozen solid, and walking was a guessing game at this point. Feeling in his legs was intermittent. Imminent destruction was on the horizon. Amputation might be necessary.

"Your parents live in Seoul, _hyung_ , like two train stops away," Johnny pointed out, and Taeil pouted with an aborted noise that got muffled by his coat.

After a moment, Taeil muttered, "I miss the kids."

Johnny tapped his chin and inhaled sharply, all patronizing-like, pretending to be in thought. "Nah, I think you just miss the kids cooking for you. And dogpiling for warmth."

Taeil fell silent, and gradually felt his irritation slipping away. No matter what it was, being with Johnny invariably lifted his mood. Even when Johnny was the instigator of said mood. "There's a reason I like sleeping with a bunch of blankets," Taeil mumbled a little while later, and Johnny's shoulders shook a bit with laughter.

"You like being weighed down," Johnny said. They were heading toward a pass where the snow was piled high from falling off the sloping branches of gangly pines. Taeil had to take two steps for Johnny's one, and the snow hiked up to his mid thigh with every step; meanwhile, for Johnny it was only knee height and he seemed used to the laborious task of navigating this demonic punishment of Mother Nature. Taeil fell behind a considerable amount before Johnny said, "Hey, what about when I lie on top of you? Why don't you like that?"

Huffing, Taeil called out, "It's awkward. I feel like it's uncomfortable for you."

Johnny turned around and, seeing how far behind Taeil was, waited for him to catch up. The silence made every crunch of snow deafening, and Taeil could feel his ears getting red, either from embarrassment or cold or both. When Taeil was finally within arm's reach, Johnny threw a heavy arm around his shoulders and pulled him in until he couldn't do much but stumble into Johnny's body, cushioned with a thin parka. How the hell he survived in this weather was beyond Taeil, but Yuta did mention that Johnny grew up in a cold city and his body was basically a furnace, second only to Jaehyun. Taeil knew this from how many times he'd fallen asleep under Johnny's naked body only to wake up hours later sticky and sweating and with all circulation to his feet cut off. Still, just one year out from having been virginal because he was a boring person with a boring life prior to SM, Taeil flushed at the thought.

"It's not uncomfortable," Johnny said against the shell of Taeil's ear, which only turned redder. Johnny's breath was hot against the frigid air. "I like being with you."

Taeil squeaked out a, "Mrmph," of acknowledgement and they continued walking. 

Johnny's weight on him made trekking through the snowdrifts even harder and clumsier, but somehow it felt more enjoyable. Taeil could barely feel the feather light kisses Johnny left on Taeil's head through the hood on his coat and his knit beanie underneath it, but he could tell Johnny was kissing him by the way Johnny's weight shifted closer and his pace slowed, because the sensation was so familiar by now.

Maybe it wasn't actually that cold. Or maybe the wind stopped blowing, or maybe the cold wasn't so bad on Taeil's bones anymore. Or maybe the feeling he'd mistaken for coldness this whole time was actually just a need to be held and loved, and he'd been too stubborn to ask for it directly. 

"I love you," Johnny said suddenly, darting his head toward Taeil's again so that his nose was buried in the top of Taeil's hood. 

"Love you too," Taeil said automatically, then immediately felt bad for how quickly and soullessly he'd answered. 

Johnny inhaled whatever he could of Taeil's scent, whatever bit of it lingered, frozen, in the pockets of him that hid in his clothes and his hair. Whenever Johnny did that, he seemed to draw out a part of Taeil from deep inside his soul. It made him feel raw. "I feel like you're not happy," Johnny said quietly.

Taeil's heart dropped a little. A lump rose in the back of his throat, but he quickly pushed it down. Johnny was always like this. More often than not he was joking, but some part of his insecurity about being loved had to come from a place of truth, a place where there was a hole in his heart. And one of Taeil's biggest worries was that he wouldn't be able to fill that hole for Johnny. It wasn't that he didn't love Johnny enough to try, he just didn't know _how_. His efforts always seemed awkward and disingenuous.

But Ten had once told him that Johnny was the type to appreciate the thought alone. "Trust me, he'd be overjoyed by anything you did for him," said Ten knowingly.

Johnny must have waxed poetic about him to Ten for years before now. But that was why Taeil kept trying despite himself. Fear had never been enough to hold him back from anything else he'd accomplished in his life until now. And a lot of times even now, when they had to perform in front of huge crowds, or when making a social media post meant instant exposure to millions around the world, when fans and onlookers alike picked apart their every move, there were times when Taeil still forgot the fear even existed. Many times, actually: enough to earn him the reputation of a friendly, fun-loving guy. There were times when being Moon Taeil was so much fun that there was no fear at all, not in that moment. And those moments were truly who he was supposed to be.

An overwhelming majority of those moments in the past year were passed with Johnny at his side. And that was more than enough to make trying— for Johnny's sake, to show him how much Taeil loved him, even if it was cringe-y, or corny, or embarrassing— worth it. 

"I _am_ happy," Taeil said.

"But you look upset," said Johnny in a voice much smaller than his size. 

Taeil took a deep breath and looked up into the cloudless sky. The blue of it in the winter sun was just magnificent, like jewels. It had a royal air to it. It was hard to imagine that the same sky could both cover the expanse of the entire world while also receding into clouds like it so often did in Seoul. "Well, in this moment, I'm cold, and tired," Taeil said. "But overall, I am happy."

Johnny looked hard at Taeil for a moment. When they had first met, those looks had been so scary. Johnny was giant, and he had seniority, even though Taeil was older. Taeil's mind had conjured up a whole soup of things that Johnny could possibly be that had helped him survive SM's cutthroat environment this long: a lord, heir to some unimaginable fortune, an assassin, a wizard, some sort of warlock, cursed. But if anything, he was tough.

Now, though, not so much. Or maybe showing someone your deepest insecurities, the inside of your heart, was a different kind of tough. Because Taeil still admired Johnny just as much now as he did then, even though Johnny was a complete dork who spit toothpaste all over the counter every morning when he brushed his teeth because he was too tall to aim it into the sink properly, or even though there was nothing he loved more than giving Taeil piggyback rides and carrying him on his shoulders, or even though his eyes looked like bloated persimmons after he cried. Maybe it was because of those things that Taeil admired him; maybe it was because he shamelessly bared those parts of himself to the world because he knew himself enough that he wouldn't change those things, and if someone was going to love part of him, they needed to love all of him.

And Taeil did love all of him. There was no doubt about that. Johnny never made him doubt his own love; it was just that sometimes Johnny could give _so much_ that no matter how much Taeil gave back, it never felt like enough. Those were Taeil's own insecurities. How could you properly love someone who would give their life for you? Every little disagreement, even though Taeil tried to stop it, came down to being afraid Johnny resented him for not doing enough to give back. Even when Johnny always reassured him that was never the case.

This time, Taeil had to mean it. He had to know he meant it. And saying it out loud right into that endless sea of aqua, unmarred by the miles and miles of atmosphere and history and resentments and secrets that Seoul held for them, had somehow helped with that. Because Taeil stood his ground as Johnny scrutinized him. Whatever Johnny saw in his expression now was what Taeil had to give. There was nothing to hide. And Johnny would just have to live with that, too.

And Johnny always did.

His expression softened after a few moments, and he pressed his lips to Taeil's forehead. Taeil's skin must've heated up in the rush of the moment, because Johnny's lips were like soft, pillowy ice. "Thank you," Johnny said, and Taeil sniffed. His nose was filling up with ice crystals, trying to protect itself from the threat of the weather. It was an odd feeling.

"Nothing to thank me for," Taeil mumbled, and Johnny held him tighter against him.

"No, just let me thank you, okay?" he said gruffly into Taeil's head, and Taeil slowly nodded while clutching at the breast pockets of Johnny's coat. "I don't know why I get like this. I swear I love you exactly how you are, _hyung_ , I know— I _love_ that about you, I love everything about you, I just—"

"Shhh," said Taeil, sliding his hands up over Johnny's shoulders and around his neck soothingly. Taeil felt his hands shaking from the cold, but he was determined to do this. "It's okay," Taeil continued. "It feels good. I feel good."

Being there for Johnny did feel good, it was just getting over that initial apprehension, that fear of rejection. Maybe he was doing it wrong, or maybe it wasn't good enough. But Johnny had never rejected him, and Ten's words from before helped a whole lot: _Johnny adored anything Taeil did for him_. "M-me too," Johnny said finally, relenting to the powers that be. Taeil's powers.

Taeil smiled to himself as he pulled away a little, holding Johnny's hand in his, since interlacing their fingers in giant, puffy snow gloves would be both impossible and unsatisfying.

"You're shaking," Johnny said, slapping his hand over Taeil's. "You're cold."

"So are you," Taeil retorted, leaning up to kiss the corner of Johnny's mouth. "And I said I was cold, I wasn't just—"

"Okay, let's get you back to the lodge, _hyung_ ," Johnny huffed, crouching down in front of Taeil so his back was facing him.

"What are you doing," said Taeil, and Johnny wiggled his hands behind him ridiculously.

"Piggyback," said Johnny.

"No," Taeil replied.

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

" _Please_?"

Taeil sighed. "We are on a mountain, _Seo Youngho_. If you piggyback me, we are going to die."

"When have we ever died before?" Johnny complained, and Taeil threw his hands against Johnny's chest. Johnny laughed and caught them.

"I guarantee you if you piggyback me, I am going to be frozen solid by the time we get back," Taeil pointed out, and Johnny conceded.

"Okay, but piggyback in the room."

"No!" Taeil wailed, and Johnny laughed again, leaning down to kiss Taeil's hair.

It turned out they weren't that far away from the lodge. The last few minutes of their hike passed in a combination of Taeil glueing himself to Johnny's side and wrapping around him and trying to walk like that but it ended up being more of a combined effort at waddling and a three-legged race, then Taeil trying to burrow himself into Johnny's coat from the bottom up and Johnny thinking Taeil was trying to tickle him, so then Johnny started trying to tickle Taeil, making Taeil screech at ungodly decibels and run away from the perpetrating hands as fast as he could, then Johnny catching up to him anyway because of his appallingly long legs and lifting Taeil up and throwing him over his shoulder for the next few moments with Taeil pounding halfheartedly on Johnny's back, and then the lodge was in sight. 

Taeil, who was panting after all that, said, "You know, when we agreed on a Japan destination honeymoon, I wasn't expecting romantic hiking and chasing each other around like hooligans."

Johnny looked down at Taeil. Spotting something in Taeil's face— maybe the blotchy red flush he got across his nose when he exerted himself in the cold, or the way his cheeks seemed to bulge when he pulled his mouth into a thin line— made Johnny grin bright and earnest, and he said, "But it was fun, right?"

Taeil grunted and shrugged his shoulders to his ears, and Johnny grabbed them from behind and leveraged his grip to wiggle Taeil's entire body. "I'm just saying if I wanted to do that I would've just gone over to the Dreamies' dorm," explained Taeil, exasperated.

"Oh, come on," replied Johnny. "There's no way Renjun would agree to hike with you." Taeil made a high pitched noise in response as he tugged open the door to the lodge lobby, warmth hitting him like a bucket of marshmallowy goodness. He couldn't help but sigh a little in satisfaction and just melt in it, unmoving from the rug right in front of the door that caught the snow on their boots. Johnny threw an arm around his shoulder and waited with him in the threshold. "Okay, we'll get you warmed up and then do what you want to do," said Johnny. Maybe it was because he was pressing his lips against the shell of Taeil's ear, but his voice was starting to fade away.

Something funny happened whenever Taeil spent too long in a tensed up, highly alert state. His consciousness dropped to half-capacity, and he floated through the actions that were "supposed" to happen without really putting any effort into them or being aware of what was going on.

That was how he passed the trip from the lodge lobby to their hotel room, where Johnny swiped the keycard and let them in and set Taeil standing in a small alcove by the closet while he rummaged around for a fresh change of clothes. Johnny was starting to be able to sense when Taeil got in these moods. It was helpful for group promotions, too, so he could fill in when Taeil was too tired to talk.

At some point they floated into the bathroom, a wash of dim orange light cascading over everything. The whole place had an oaky feel, and a few lone sconces that looked like candles were left to light the entire room, and if you sniffed hard enough, it felt like you could smell burning wax. Time seemed to go slower here; the atmosphere begot a sense of sleepiness, a reassurance that everything would be okay in this short break, agreed upon by you and the universe.

Taeil, finally at the mercy of having no energy to do anything except observe his surroundings, let his gaze drift around the room while Johnny towel-dried his hair. The TV and electronics were hidden in wooden dressers, and the shower tiles were a warm off-white marble while even the glass was frosted and soft. A friendly potted bamboo plant greeted them between the set of soap and lotions from the hotel staff.

When Johnny appeared in Taeil's peripheral vision again and pressed his palms against Taeil's cheeks and said something to him, it sounded garbled like they were under water. "Hm?" Taeil said tiredly, blinking.

"I said don't fall asleep on me here, _hyung_ ," Johnny said with a grin. Taeil sniffed in response.

Johnny had changed both of them out of their wet snow pants and into nice jeans and the Almost-Matching Sweaters: actually, Taeil's was a crewneck and Johnny's knit and they looked nothing alike, but back at the dorm the two of them had routinely both worn these sweaters on Sundays for three months consecutively before noticing, and that was only when Doyoung, who was good at details, pointed it out to them. They were the _Sunday Sweaters_ , or sweaters for days that felt like Sundays. On Taeil's feet were fuzzy socks, and Johnny had even remembered to put a t-shirt on Taeil underneath his sweater because Taeil hated wearing single layers in the winter. He'd always complain about an uncomfortable draft in the space between his skin and his clothing.

"Let's go out to eat," Johnny said, pressing a kiss to both of Taeil's eyelids.

"You said we'd do what _I_ want to do," Taeil whined, and Johnny put his hands on Taeil's shoulders.

"Okay, as long as it's not sleeping," said Johnny.

He had a point; it would be ideal to remain conscious during normal waking hours while on vacations. Especially ones that the members had been kind enough to pay for by pitching in their winnings from secret bets across the months about how long it would take Taeil and Johnny to reach various milestones in their relationship. Unsurprisingly, Mark, Lucas, and Yuta ended up shouldering most of the cost because they were dense as bricks, but for some reason Chenle got wrangled in on it, too. When the group finally revealed the savings to Taeil and Johnny, Doyoung had a conspiracy theory that Renjun tricked Chenle into thinking it was a competition for who could donate the most without anyone noticing. Or maybe Chenle was just kind, and rich, and also clueless. "Okay, but can we stay here a little longer?" murmured Taeil.

Johnny shrugged and nodded as Taeil closed in on him and leaned up against him to kiss him. "Sure," Johnny said against Taeil's lips. "What do you want to do?"

"Dunno," Taeil mumbled.

The lodge was quiet, and the only thing audible between the two of them was their breathing, Taeil's soft, and Johnny's deep and hefty. Taeil looped his arms around Johnny's shoulders, and Johnny's hands fell naturally to Taeil's hips.

Okay, so they were going to kiss in the middle of the bathroom. Although after hours of trekking through the wilderness, this felt absolutely delightful, and Taeil was completely unmotivated to move. Johnny hummed when Taeil licked into his mouth and patiently, tantalizingly accepted a few of Taeil's desperate little laps until he finally opened up for him.

Taeil loved Johnny's tongue. And Johnny's mouth. Well, everything about him was physically perfect. It was all big and strong yet controlled, gentle when he wanted to be. There was just so much _space_ , so much to explore. So much that all belonged to Taeil.

Johnny pulled away for a moment and held back when Taeil leaned in toward him again. Miffed, Taeil opened his eyes to Johnny grinning wickedly at him. "Something we can't do around the dorm, huh?" Johnny said lowly, and Taeil frowned.

"Okay, yeah," he said. "What about it?"

"Nothing, babe," Johnny replied with a soft slap to Taeil's ass, and Taeil made a petulant noise and shoved his hands into Johnny's back pockets, staring up at him. 

It was kind of funny how, in their old age, something as simple as a glare could get them going. Well, they weren't old, but they weren't exactly pubescent teens popping boners at anything and everything either. Maybe it was because they hadn't had sex since the last time the group traveled together which was weeks ago, or maybe Johnny just made Taeil feel like a horny kid. Whatever it was, the way Johnny looked at him like he wanted to taste him everywhere all the time made Taeil glower back; it made him want to egg Johnny on until he snapped. So of course, that was what Taeil did. 

He took a step back and leaned against the counter on his elbows, looking up at Johnny as if challenging him to follow. And after Johnny flared his nostrils and breathed out brokenly, he did.

Johnny settled his hands on each side of Taeil's shoulders, caging him in against the countertop. From this angle, with the light illuminating only the edges of Johnny's face, with his hair hanging over his eyes, he looked all dark and warm, smoldering like the actual physical embodiment of heat. He leaned in to kiss Taeil but hovered a fraction of a centimeter away, letting the air between them get hot and hum with energy. "Johnny," Taeil breathed, low like a warning, in a voice that Johnny couldn't resist.

Johnny groaned and finally pressed their lips together. Whenever it was like this— insistent, demanding, sexual— it felt different. Not all different; the love, sweet like caramel, was still, always, there. But there was this urgency, this wild, uncontrollable longing, that made Taeil's insides all tingly and warm and made his stomach flip and made his lower belly coil with need. Johnny wanted him, this much, _now_. And who was Taeil to deny him that, especially when he wanted Johnny, too?

Taeil leaned into the kiss slowly, sensually, keeping his weight on his arms and his hands to himself, even though his fingers were thrumming to touch. They kissed each other hard, again and again, as sexual as closed-mouth kisses could possibly be. They were loud, extravagant, claiming. After a few of these Johnny shoved his tongue in Taeil's mouth unannounced as he did so many times in the past, and Taeil opened up for him easily. 

This was when Taeil finally let himself palm Johnny's forearms and run his hands up to his shoulders, feeling Johnny through the fabric. Johnny placed his hands on Taeil's lower back and lifted him so they were both standing, sidestepping, and stumbling back into the room while Taeil smushed his face into Johnny's knit sweater and breathed in a deep whiff. Through the clothing, Johnny smelled cold and hot all at the same time, like the scent of sweat on a chilly day. The room was awash in that dark cast that made everything look the same color. When Johnny leaned in close, a shiver racked Taeil's body. 

Instead of kissing Taeil more, Johnny started tugging on the hem of Taeil's pullover. "Wanna touch you," Johnny grunted, stepping over their coats on the floor near the doorway, a heap of nylon and cotton and PU, but when Johnny's impatient hands gave up on the sweater and slipped under the t-shirt instead, Taeil stiffened and said, "No," curling his hand around Johnny's wrist gently.

Johnny's eyebrows drew into a concerned line. "What?"

Taeil studied Johnny's expression for a moment and couldn't help but giggle. "It's too cold," Taeil complained, and Johnny breathed a sigh of relief and crowded Taeil up against the wall, which seemed, like wet wood, to give against the weight of the both of them.

"Keep it on, then," Johnny whispered against Taeil's lips, and when Taeil was about to open his mouth to protest, Johnny kissed him deep and slow, slipping his hands into the back of Taeil's jeans and licking into his mouth all at once. The icy cold of Johnny's hands palming his ass made him jerk forward instinctively, pushing against Johnny's crotch. They both moaned, but Taeil's was much louder and echoed against the walls as he clutched Johnny's shoulders. "Yeah, just like that," Johnny growled into Taeil's neck, holding Taeil close by his ass and groping it, _hard_.

"My god, Johnny," Taeil gasped, and he keened and arched into the touch. Shocks of sensitivity echoed throughout his entire body, every point of contact between him and Johnny, even through layers and layers of fabric, burned hot. And Taeil sucked on Johnny's tongue like a lifeline, moaning shamelessly around it and drooling when Johnny started swiveling his hips in circles and rubbing his thumbs into Taeil's lower back.

When Johnny pulled his hands out of Taeil's pants, Taeil whined in protest, pulling back from the kisses and pouting at Johnny square in the face. The light, dim from the sheer curtain pulled over the window, flashed off Johnny's wet bottom lip as he smiled at Taeil's antics. "Can I at least unzip you?" Johnny said, and Taeil rolled his eyes and nodded.

"You said that so weirdly," Taeil murmured. He couldn't take his eyes off the way Johnny's long fingers knew their way around this particular pair of jeans. They were Taeil's favorite, even if the zipper sometimes got stuck on the third notch. Johnny even knew to wiggle it a little, and god damn it, he was definitely putting unnecessary pressure right there on purpose. Taeil whined and buried his face in Johnny's neck again, biting down lightly. "That's what you get for being a tease," he murmured when Johnny glared at him.

"Just let me enjoy you, baby," said Johnny, and the flush in Taeil's face from the cold outside deepened while Johnny hummed like a big happy child and stroked his thumb over Taeil's cheek, vexation temporarily forgotten. 

"Love you," Taeil said in a small voice, and Johnny sucked in a breath that sounded like a hiss. That was always what got Johnny: Taeil reciprocating his affection, especially during make out sessions or sex. 

"I love you," Johnny repeated as if Taeil hadn't said anything at all, punctuating the words with deep, hard kisses and panting breaths that just got harder the more he looked down at Taeil. "So much."

It was usually just amusing how worked up Johnny could get himself if left like this to his own devices, but right now, a swell of gratitude, appreciation, affection— was it love?— filled up Taeil's heart and was putting a surprising amount of pressure on his groin, too, embarrassingly enough.

This actually happened rather often, much more often than Johnny knew, probably. Most of the time, the situation was just not appropriate, like when they were filming and Johnny would shoot him an encouraging look from across the set and a thumbs up, or when Taeil was stuck in the recording booth for hours on end and Johnny was watching (he always watched, when he didn't have any other pressing schedules) with a completely entranced look on his face. Clamping down on those feelings just became kind of second nature, because their profession called for chastity, smiles, and self control. Just to initiate a touch with Johnny while being filmed was a needlessly anxiety-inducing act, because the balance between friendly touches and the overwhelming urge to squeeze Johnny's hand, tighter than necessary, to plant a well-deserved kiss on his lips, to hold him and breathe in all he was and chase the feeling of being safe and secure in his arms and against his chest, was something out of Taeil's control.

Johnny seemed to be able to manage it okay because the little reminders he sent to Taeil every day that he loved him more than he could ever know never failed to reach Taeil's heart. He always seemed to know where Taeil was when he was alone; he'd come find Taeil huddled in the corner of his empty room or in a pile of blankets half sequestered in Doyoung's closet next to his mini-fridge or standing aimlessly in the pantry doorway, and give him a needed hug from behind or a quick kiss to the shell of his ear. It took everything Taeil had not to reciprocate, because once he started, he didn't know if he could stop. 

There were things that were both good and bad about being an idol. The things Taeil appreciated about it he was sure he took for granted most of the time because they became so commonplace that you wouldn't notice them until they were gone. It felt natural to create the illusion of balance between rewards and sacrifices without having to question it so that he could stay motivated to keep doing this every day. Johnny, of course, brought another dimension of innumerable complications into it, and it was easier to just continue enjoying what they had than to try to evaluate the possible pros and cons of change.

In this moment, Taeil let it fill him. The appreciation, the longing so powerful it was sometimes painful, the pressure all over his body in weird places he'd never felt before, the _love_. He let it tickle his insides and pump his heart until it was beating at double time. He let it push at his edges until they threatened to explode. He let it fill him with indescribable warmth, like liquid sunlight, running through the space between his skin and his nerves, setting each of them alight with a small dancing flame, one by one.

He mewled when Johnny finally reached into his unbuttoned jeans and stroked him once, twice, before snaking his hand around to Taeil's ass and tracing his rim with his finger. "Mnnh, god," Taeil moaned out, and Johnny swallowed it with a sweet, slow kiss. 

There was nothing patient about the way Taeil unbuckled Johnny's belt and unbuttoned his jeans and reached in to grab his dick, already hard and stretching the confines of Johnny's pants, prying it this way and that and tracing it deftly with his thumb just how Johnny liked it before finally pulling it out. He had Johnny writhing against him; Taeil knew the ways of Johnny's dick all too well. "Wanna fuck you," Johnny breathed, and Taeil keened as Johnny thrust the tip of his finger into him dry, suddenly reminded of how empty he was and how much he also wanted Johnny to fuck him until he couldn't move, hard or gentle, any way, he could ride Johnny even, until his thighs burned.

But at this rate, neither of them would last enough to make it that far. "Tonight," Taeil said with much reluctance, and Johnny conceded, but Taeil could basically hear his pout through his strained laugh. "Johnny," Taeil continued, wrapping his arms around Johnny's neck and pulling him close to emphasize how turned on they both really were. "Make me come, _now_."

Johnny growled and kissed Taeil and held him up by the ass with both of his hands, huge and gripping tight, knowing very well what he could do to Taeil without even touching him. Taeil fumbled with his own cock, wiggling his pants low on his hips enough so he could get it out and jerk both of them off at the same time. Johnny was better at it because he could hold them both in one hand, but at this point Taeil couldn't care less, especially when Johnny's hands were busy pulling him apart and groping him and doing everything besides actually fingering him open. 

Johnny was big, but Taeil didn't need to use his whole hand; he could make Johnny come with just two fingers and his thumb, and when he squeezed both of them together, Johnny moaned _loud_ , making Taeil flush up to his ears with embarrassment and arousal. 

"Fuck, keep going," Johnny panted out, and Taeil huffed, his own dick twitching at the praise. Johnny rolled his hips up into Taeil's hand and the friction between their cocks made Taeil want to just relish in this moment floating between calmness and desperation forever.

Precum dripped from Johnny's cock, and Taeil licked his lips subconsciously. Johnny must've seen him because he grunted and started leaving a trail of kisses and hickeys down the side of Taeil's neck.

"I'm close," Johnny mumbled, so Taeil dropped his own cock and worked on Johnny's alone, thumbing the tip and jerking him off in quick motions. When Johnny came, he stiffened and groaned, "Taeil— fuck, _hyung_ fuck, that's so good," and Taeil moaned with him because the noises Johnny made were always so deep and erotic and wrapped Taeil up in these reverbs that made him shiver. 

When Johnny leaned back panting and glanced down, Taeil met his gaze with a stare and pointedly lapped at Johnny's cum all over his hand. Johnny moaned, soft and tired, and pulled Taeil toward him into a languid kiss and wrapped his hand around Taeil's cock while using half his fingers to fondle his balls, making Taeil keen. God, he wanted Johnny's dick in him; just imagining it sliding against his walls while Johnny jerked him off was enough to send a flash of arousal through him. "More," Taeil whined, and Johnny hummed, jerking him faster and rougher. The feeling built up in his toes and legs and thighs; he trembled and clutched Johnny's shoulders as he thrust into Johnny's hand. Johnny knew Taeil's body, too: knew all the parts that made Taeil go crazy, knew how to keep Taeil from coming and tease him just a bit longer, knew exactly the motions to take when Taeil was close. His hands, big and rough on Taeil's cock, played with the head while he kept kissing Taeil lazily, sucking on Taeil's lips until they were swollen, until Taeil was drooling around his tongue.

Losing himself to Johnny felt so good. Because Johnny would always be there to pick up the pieces. Johnny could tell from Taeil's movements that he was close, and kept picking up the pace until Taeil was moaning into Johnny's neck with every stroke. "I— I'm, I'm gonna come," Taeil whimpered, and Johnny brought his lips to Taeil's forehead and pressed them there gently.

"Shh, I've got you," murmured Johnny, moving to kiss Taeil's lips again, and Taeil came with a high-pitched broken cry, pleasure racking his body in pulses. Johnny swallowed Taeil's noise not long after, stroking him through it while Taeil bucked his hips uncontrollably and moaned into Johnny's mouth as he came and came.

And Johnny, with his other hand, squeezed Taeil's ass and held him close almost possessively. The way Johnny always held him tight after he came, locked him in and reassured him that yes, Johnny was there, and real, and all around him, overflowed his senses. Maybe it was instinct, to make sure Taeil would always associate this feeling with everything Johnny was, but it was working. Not only was the tightness with which Johnny held him a symbol of love, but it was secure and safe and potent in a way that made the whole room float away and they were the only things left in it. This imaginary world of Johnny and the bliss of raw emotion and exhaustion running through his body was euphoria. 

When Taeil finally came down, his high-pitched moans and squeals settling into tired breaths, the sight of Johnny smiling down at him greeted him and filled him with a flood of warmth again. Soft warmth, like from a heater far away somewhere. Johnny's skin seemed to glow with a happy flush, and Taeil probably looked much the same.

"Mnhh, you look so pretty when you come," Johnny said as he pulled Taeil into a one-armed hug and rocked him back and forth as if they had just won a music show or something. Taeil snorted and nuzzled his face into Johnny's chest. 

"Thanks," Taeil said airily, and Johnny laughed and kissed his forehead. Taeil only blinked his eyes shut for a moment before grabbing for Johnny's other hand and kissing his fingertips, sucking lightly on his index finger which glistened with cum.

"Shit, Taeil," Johnny breathed, having to tear his gaze away and shove his arm over his eyes. This apparently only made it worse, though, because the only thing he could focus on then was the feeling of Taeil's lips wrapped around his finger and his tongue lapping at him.

Taeil giggled and let Johnny's hand go only to lean up on his tiptoes and pull his face close by his chin and kiss him. "Let's go out for dinner," Taeil mumbled against Johnny's lips.

Johnny made a surprised but pleased noise. "Thought you weren't feeling well?" he said quietly between kisses and Taeil shrugged.

"I'm better now," he said.

Johnny laughed. "Healing dick."

"I didn't even get your dick, so that's not true," Taeil complained, and Johnny wiggled his hips obnoxiously, swinging his limp cock, still out of its confines, around.

"You didn't get my dick _yet_ ," Johnny corrected, and Taeil grunted and heaved himself up by Johnny's shoulders and hooked his legs around Johnny's hips to still him, hanging off of him like a koala. "Healing anticipation of dick. Besides, you were the one who said not now."

"Petty," Taeil said, and Johnny let him finish before kissing the words off of him.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the fastest I've written anything in years! Anyway, I felt like I have been neglecting Johnil and I really just wanted to write about winter. This was for the "fully clothed" kink in 100 kinks. 98 more to go. Thank you a lot for reading!


End file.
